Hey people. I don’t think many read this, and I’m not tagging individuals on FB, so that’s that.

It’s been an interesting week for me, and if I wrote for a soap opera, I’m sure I could “troll out” the requisite language. I just wish it wasn’t my life.

Don’t get me wrong. Before anyone opens their mouth and says something ridiculously stupid they’ll feel badly for, afterwards, I AM grateful. I have more than many.

~ A terrific partner who loves me and our animals.
~ A beautiful house to live in, and our comfy abode.
~ Home cooked meals nearly every night.
~ A breath every morning, when I am terrified to go to sleep every night, just in case. I don’t know what your review of the day is when you go to sleep, but I put mine off as long as I can, because sometimes I am not proud of how I acted/reacted.

So, all I really have is today, and since I started typing before 12 am Pacific US time, that is the day I’m working on.

~ He probably thinks I love to argue. Debate is one thing. Arguing involves hurt. Not helpful. I will NEVER be a throw rug, and I learn to take my temper down about 40 notches. I do know that I can’t, statistically, always be the cause of every argument. I need to learn manspeak better, and he just needs to get out of my way right now… Ok, KIDDING. We generally get each other when calm has come to hang out. Otherwise, it’s like sticking two Beta Fish in a tank, and see who wins. *shrug*

~ Valentine’s Day is coming up. Money is tight for everyone. I have had the best present of my life (last year… it was far better than any piece of jewelry): an arrangement, 3 dozen roses (all colors – he knew I loved that best), a surprise trip to CA to see my niece, nephew and sister in law, and then chocolate covered strawberries (I shared!) after we got home. I don’t expect anything this year, but I know what I can do, and I will be coloring and baking and make sure the reason for the day feels appreciated.

~ He’s tired of the tests. Never says a thing. Not one little chirp. We’re walking out of the MRI place and I mentioned my shoulder, and he split second freaked -“Wait, this wasn’t of your brain?” “Noooo, we were trying to schedule that MRI AND the other test at radiology together, remember?” Did your brain freeze over and stop listening? So did his, with frustration. Mine with wondering how many times they will stick me with needles, mess with a brain that is already screwed up.

This note is over. My goal was just to put words down, and at least I accomplished something other than dishes and grocery shopping today, right?

T.
snoopy abstract

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