I’m tired so this blog won’t make much sense. I had it pointed out to me, oh so politely, how some people see things I mis-type or make grammar mistakes with. Basically everything you don’t want to hear from your third grade teacher.
It’s rather difficult to always hold it together. So many of you are so much better than me at it. I lose my temper a lot… which is frightening because I lost my temper a lot before my stroke, and I’m beyond controlling it sometimes. I have to clamp my lips together and not say another word until I can get to a place where I don’t have to speak to anyone.
I’ve come to realize that certain friendships are/were meant for occasional meets, and I shouldn’t be hurt that they never turned into more. It seems always to be a case of “Well, you can’t drive over here, and that’s an awfully long way, and no offense, but I don’t have the time, or I don’t have the money, etc.”
Don’t think I don’t notice when you are so busy you don’t have time for me. I remember. Often I remember as I am doing something for you.
As I mentioned previously, I’m done acting like I am sick. I am. I just don’t have a “well THIS sucks” attitude anymore.
It’s not all about me, and it’s not all about you. One of the things I have promised myself, with this coming physically stressful week. is that I will no longer apologize for shit that doesn’t involve you. Gone are the “I’m sorry, I must have missed that part of our conversation,” or worrying horrifically about people who won’t tell me what is wrong.
I will always care about my friends. They color my life and make me happy, and they don’t show up like a ton of flutterbys, because THAT would freak me the f out.
I AM in pain. Not going to lie. It’s ouchy to be me. The thing is, I have set it in my mind that I CAN succeed.
App into ASU, and transcripts on the way as of tomorrow. The Spanish language better be ready for me!
I’m going into weight training, and have been practicing my Jackson 5 dance for the flashmob thing I am dragging D into on the 26th. I suck terribly, but hey, one more thing on my bucket list, right? Becky Handy would be so proud of me.
I don’t delete people. I know people are busy with their own lives, and sometimes getting free time (my life) is impossible. I made dinner tonight, did the dishes, helped my other half turn our king size mattress (holy baby jeebus, I need bigger guns), and didn’t say much about his interest in correcting my spelling, or the comment that he often “ignores” the mistakes I make. Once again, I present to you that I actually am brain damaged. I’m not whining about it, and I only pull the fact out when someone is being “difficult.”
I know I’m a gigantic PITA. Never, ever been a doubt about that. I don’t conform to some rules and others I am a stickler about (hello, manners!)
Anyway, if you want to catch me, you already know how to. Please, do not show up with a shitty attitude, or some chip on your shoulder that will make me want to punch you, or any other trash talking nonsense. I am (go ahead, laugh) actually trying to calm down and relax myself.
Classes start 5/19, and I am getting myself in there. Hopefully these pesky doc appointments and PT don’t get in the way.
‘Nuff said. Behave yourselves. 😉