Life is meant to be dealt with, with an all terrain soul.
Listen, we all have problems, issues, and everyday life. Here we go with the everyday:
- There is always laundry, and dishes, and cleaning, and a whole bunch of dusting, add polishing, and I think I threw up in my mouth.
- I can adore my spouse, and still say things to my animals like “Your dad is a dick.”
- Hospitals are not fun. They generally put me on “fall risk” and put a yellow band on my wrist that does not compliment my skin. I also had to have the hubby disarm the alarm on my bed so I didn’t get caught sneaking back from the bathroom. True story.
- Hospitals are fun when they don’t think you’re going to croak. I was the weirdo who did laps in my wheelchairs at 3am because I was bored out of my tree.
- If you have to be in an acute rehabilitation facility (that’s the name. If you just say Rehab, everyone thinks something else.) make some friends. This is also known as the kitchen staff, the therapy staff, and the nursing staff. This way, you get to do whatever you want as long as you put up with, you know, needle sticks, and people waking you up at 4am to shove drugs at you to stay alive.
- If you really want to go down in physical therapy, make sure that on your last day, trip and fall. I took down my guy, with a curb that hated me, and ended up taking HIM to the nurses’ station.
- My service dog was brought in under the cover of “Let’s wait til all the elderly are asleep” so that they didn’t all freak over her cuteness. Welcome to 2am, with a dog, your husband, and Subway.
- Costco is horrific. I go with a list, and still end up with a giant bag of salted caramel corn poofs that are oven baked, organic, and non GMO. Trust me, that is the epitome of impulse buying.
- Except for when you stop at the dollar store 2 blocks from home to buy “Stuff” you need. Hey, my 4 year old boyfriend next door must have that Paw Patrol coloring thing, and a truck that will probably annoy his mom. Uhhhh… this is also the kid I download games for on my tablet.
It basically boils down to this. I still managed to make chicken noodle soup today. I baked. I took care of my house. Yay for not making snarky remarks when someone called me my father in law’s trophy wife. Seriously.
He was laughing and proud. I almost hit the guy with a pound of Gouda.
That’s that, and where I’m at.