Monthly Archives: June 2017

Dear body,

You and I have a love/hate relationship.

Here is where I’m at with you:

  • Please stop waking me up at 3:30am. I understand the back sounds like a popcorn factory, and feels like muscles are crunchy, but you’re screwing with the sleeps.
  • The fact that I’m doing squats at that time is absolutely heinous. You let my feet go to sleep, and make my legs hurt enough that I have to exercise to wake everything up just sucks.
  • I have to get up and get dressed so that I don’t squirmy wormy my way through the night and make David have a horrible night’s sleep too. Not fair.
  • Allergic reaction? You can go jump right off a cliff. Hives? Ok, bite me.
  • I do NOT like feeling like you’re the boss of me, so please just shut up with your nonsense and behave.
  • I just finished more push ups than I want to count, so I thank you for the pain. Not really. Actually, this is more like I would like for you to keep holding me upright, so don’t say I don’t do anything for you.
  • If you could have a little kindness and allow me to keep walking around on these stems, and make these floppy things called arms work properly, the management will appreciate it.

Just please stop with the health insanity. I’m tired, sore, and trying my best. Behave!


C’mon now.

This is so ridiculous.

I’m a fairly positive person. Maybe it’s sheer stubbornness. Live in my head 24-7-365 and in this body that fails, and we’ll see how you hold up.

  • I got home to so many hospital bills I wanted to throw up. Yeah, thanks body for being a jerk, because I totally love going to the hospital. Alarmed beds and bitchy nurses. Jesus, get me out of here.
  • I made lunch at 6am because my other half didn’t eat dinner last night. Who cooks sauce and pasta at 5:45am? ME.
  • I’m still proud of myself that I had, and I am not kidding, 5 minutes to slap my bridesmaid dress on, run to the brides room for pics, and sort of looked human.
  • Please. I’m asking nicely. Please, please understand that I have a massive brain injury. My sleep patterns were bad before, and they didn’t improve with brain damage. I sleep when I can, or when my body shuts down. Don’t ask me to operate on your schedule. I will try my very bestest, but it wipes me out for days. I can hang with the best of them and woman up and handle things like a champ, but please realize it takes a big, FAT toll.
  • Always have a partner in crime. I need snarky, rebels, and laughter, because otherwise, holy crap. We hold each other up when stuff gets stressful.
  • When people are jerks, they’re probably going through their own stuff. Or they might just be assholes. LOL
  • I’m still laughing about the person who altered my dress for the wedding I was just in. “Do you want me to alter this so people can see your shoes?” “No, I want you to alter it so the balance challenged person doesn’t trip and go BOOM and ruin the wedding.”
  • If David doesn’t switch out his phone today, I am smashing that damn thing because the GPS doesn’t work. AT. ALL. He’s due to upgrade and I’m done listening to “This fucking thing!” 😛

Off I go into the wild, blue yonder. This is also known as visiting my postage stamp sized front yard with my 9 pound attack dog. 🙂

Have a great Tuesday everyone, and remember that no matter what, there is someone who cares about you.