Monthly Archives: August 2017

This week can go away. Far away.

Listen, I know we all have a bunch of life going on. House, bills, the spouse, pets, relatives, not so fun dates in our calendar, chores, and all that stuff. So, in an attempt to make life more fun, I’m writing a list of things I am grateful for, instead of all the shit I’m NOT grateful for. Yay for me!

  • Spicy black bean burgers, baby lettuce (that sounds weird. Little lettuce? Nope. Smaller lettuce. Ok still creepy. Lettuce, ok?)
  • Clothes that fit.
  • Baby potatskis and tomatskis.
  • Peach pie.
  • Good friends.
  • People who don’t think I’m the biggest butthead ever.
  • Spicy nacho Doritos, which are not good for me, but, I eat maybe 5 at a time.
  • My stash of Sour Patch Kids.
  • Plans to make “Magic Bars” tomorrow.
  • Quiet because everyone at sub 0400, including pets, is asleep. Yes, please.
  • Trash and recycling out, before those crazy people show up at 6:30 AM.
  • No animals threw up today. Thank you, baby jeebus.
  • No drama occurs when it’s after 3 AM unless you’re doing something you shouldn’t be, on the Strip. I’m good.

Be well, peeps, and remember to be nice/ kind to people. Everyone has things going on, and not everyone can juggle 8 or 80 plates. ❤



Here’s where we get into schooling. Ready?

Some of this is trivial, and some of this will send me off the ledge, and you get to decide which is which.

  • Everyone knows I love Bruno Mars and have for years. Please stop talking while I’m chair dancing to my handsome guy. It’s rude. I don’t care who’s dying because I can rescue, dial a phone, and handle without the talking.
  • Stitch Fix can suck it. I never really need anyone to tell me what to wear, but was looking for some cool stuff for when my friend comes into town for a girls’ trip. Epic fail. Answered all the questions. NO. I’m not THAT tough. Throw me some clothes people. Fail? Never again.
  • If I didn’t have a crew of SMIDGETS, I’d be borrowing up a storm. That doesn’t work when I’m 9 inches taller, with a whole bunch of weird body stuff. YOU try being 5’9ish and your legs are nearly 36″ long… hello, weird short thing when you sit down. 😀
  • About to do a girls’ vacay with my girl, in town, and I can’t wait. I need this like this former fat kid wants cake.
  • I’m still pissed off that this is the third time I have tried to throw money at something, and got denied. Thanks for the treats, stupids.

Sooooo… a teensie look into the life of a boring mortal.

I am a colossal moron at life.

Why they don’t give you an instruction manual from the get go, I will never understand. Still, I understand that every choice I made, and even the ones other people made, landed me right here. I’m ok with that. I’ve been kind of a roll over, smush ball girl, and it’s time to grow back my spine of steel.

  • I just turned 46. I’m not ashamed of it, and never lie about my age. I have never thought I should lie about my age like it’s a shameful thing. I made it this far, and didn’t die again, so I am proud of myself every day. Sometimes I just forget.
  • I have a horrible track record of trusting the wrong people. I take people at face value, and while that’s suitable for a Disney princess, it’s not good for the rest of us in the real world. This year is: give everyone a chance but keep my eye and my taser trained on whomever. You broke me, 2016-2017.
  • Keep adulting. Bills have to be paid, and nobody gives a crap what happens in your life to prevent you from paying ZYX bill. Likewise, when your other half opens the fridge, freezer, pantry, know what your best excuse is because it currently sucks. 🙂
  • Never lose the part of you that is YOU. I’ve had some serious health issues, and for four years, ME has taken the backseat, so I could just get better. NO MORE.
  • I’m quite capable of looking like the fiercely independent woman. I cry from emotional pain only. Hey, get stuck with needles all the time, break enough bones, overcome serious BS? I’m used to that nonsense. This is not a “Oh WHOAH is me!” situation. I don’t need anyone to rescue me. I’m perfectly capable of doing it myself, thank you. It’s just time to take my mojo back.

    That all said, there is so much joy to be seen.

  • I can help people when they need it.
  • Sometimes my cooking or baking makes people happier.
  • Someone told me this weekend that my smile lights up a whole room. Wow.
  • Kids and pets make the world go ’round. Thank goodness I have both in my life.
  • I try every day, even tired and sick, to see one thing that makes me smile.

Every day is a gift. I am choosing not to waste it. ❤